Because You Love Me

When you were a kid…

“Mom, when I grow up I will take care of you.”

“Thank you, my angel.”

When you were a teenager…

“Mom! will you stop it. You’re embarrassing me”

“I though it would help you. I’m sorry my child.”

When you were studying…

“Mom! I’m tired. I need to take a rest.”

“Yes. Take a rest my child. I will do it myself.”

Now that you are miles away from her…

“Mom, I miss you so much.”

“I miss you more, my angel.”

When was the last time you do good for your mother? As a child, we are busy driving our lives that we seldom remember the woman who did nothing but to love us. We seldom made plans with her. We seldom acknowledged her in times of our accomplishments. But she? There’s no second that she never thought of us. How are we doing? Are we good? Did we eat our lunch? She even go to the mall to buy new clothes not for herself but for us.

I remember the time when our family status was in a very bad condition – my father was kicked on his job, my mother couldn’t find a job either. We had nothing left even a single penny. My mother went at the backyard and harvest potato sprout for us to have a lunch.

Since we hadn’t taken our breakfast, all of us were starving. My brother wanted to eat more of potato sprout but there’s nothing left in the table. My mother said she was full and gave what she had to my brother. I was in tears after realizing that my mother hadn’t eaten anything yet. That afternoon, I can feel that she was so starving but she didn’t said single word about it.  She went to her room. I followed her. But just before I open the door, I heard her crying. I hate her when she hides the pain she feels. My heart was breaking. Then, I realized that I was too busy driving my own life that I forgotten that she was never been busy for us. I was so selfish and rude! But, she is always selfless and kind.

From that very moment, I promised myself to love her in every day of my life.

***

We hate it when our mother nags us. We hate it when our mother over reacts in front of our friends. We hate it when our mother interfere our privacy. We hate it when our mother do not let us attend the party. But, have you loved your mother for taking you in her womb for nine months? Have you loved your mother for taking care of you everyday? Have you loved your mother for preparing your breakfast, lunch and dinner? Have you loved your mother for giving you a birthday blast when you were seven? Have you loved your mother for sacrificing her own happiness for your own happiness? Have you loved you mother for working 24/7 for your school allowance that you will just spend for nothing? Have you loved your mother  for loving you? Think about it.

Longing for a Brother’s Love

Since I was a kid, I always long for a brother’s love. I wanted to know him. I wanted to be with him.

In my 14 years of existence, I never dreamed for everything except to see my brother. Until one day, my aunt told me about her communication with my half-brother. I reached out to him and eventually got a chance to have a little chat. I was really happy about the idea of getting to know him even just through facebook. Until then, I never lose hope that someday, somehow, we will be able to see each other. He wanted to see me too. He wanted to see our father.

He haven’t seen our father since he is with us from the very beginning of his marriage to my mother. Since I was a kid, my father always tell the same old story about my brother. He always tells us that he is a smart guy with a pure heart in which my mother always agrees. Whenever my father tells this, I always feel a mixed emotion. I am happy because I know my father is really proud of him and because my mother, in spite of the fact that he is not a legit son, she loves him just the same as her children. On the other hand, I can’t help it but to be sad because I know how much painful it is for my father not to have his son for a very long time. I know how much he longs for my brother’s hug and I know how much he wanted to help him whenever he has a problem. But, he just can’t. Because, he is miles away from him. I promise myself to find him so that my father and him could have a great bonding together and my father would have another story to tell.

After quite dramatic way of life, I left my family for my education. Just like my brother, I am miles away from them. Now, I feel how he feels not to have our father in our side. It feels horrible! I always missed them every now and then. I always cry at night and I am wandering how are they doing since our communication is unstable.

After two years of unstable communication with my family as well as to my brother, I received a message from him saying that he wanted to go home and see our father. It feels great! like it was the greatest day of my life. I excitedly called my father and told him about the news. I felt my father excited and happy over the phone. He kept on asking when. And, I felt some emotion that I can’t explain but it feels good! It’s like a dream come true for me and for my father. I could hardly explain how happy I am to see their photograph on facebook and see how wide they smile in front of the camera. It’s a picture of a happy family. However, without me. I felt that fate is playing fools with me. Yes! I wanted him and my father to have a grand reunion but I wanted to be there as well. Can’t I see my brother? Can’t I even have a little time with him? That’s so unfair!

I can’t do anything about it. I guess I just have to be happy for all of them. So, I did. Vacation came and I decided to spent my entire vacation on my aunt house in Manila. I had a chance to know more of my cousins and had a bonding time with them.

As what many people say: Everything has a right place at the right time. He was there looking for me. Yes! my brother. How I wish for that very moment to come! How I wish for that embrace! How I wish for that little chitchat! It’s almost perfect but he has to  bid goodbye. He still have some work to do. My father is so right! He is so amazing! I imagine our family spending time together with him. It feels so perfect!

But I guess, there is no such thing as perfect! It’s just a word, an idea. I just imagine things to be perfect but the truth: He has his own world now. And we are not part of it. But, no. I guess all i’m trying to say is: I am tired to show the world how much I love him and how much I wanted to be with him because he has is own family to love and own world to live. I am tired of waiting to be recognized by him. I am tired of seeing his old photographs tagging other people HIS FAMILY. When would be the time he would call us as HIS FAMILY?